My experience with an online romance scammer

- March 24, 2025

I never believed that I could fall victim to a romance scammer. I am not the type to do so...at least that is what I always thought. Now I know that very attitude is what made me the exact kind of woman many modern romance scammers are looking for.

I am a natural introvert. As a young adult I fell down the internet rabbit-hole at a crucial stage in my development. When loneliness inevitably overcomes me, I have always found it easier to turn inwards and online to alleviate the emptiness that ensues. Strangers were safe to talk to. You could get away from them in just a click. You could open your heart without showing your face and then disappear and never have to see or know them again. Against this background i found myself on an online friendship site.

His name was ali, or at least that was his username. I never believed he had given me his real name. He started messaging me and at first I was resistant. He was too young in my opinion, to be seeking romance from me. And that is how he first approached - immediately praising my looks. i told him I was too old for him repeatedly, and also called him a scammer. I told him I was aware of what handsome young men like him were after from older ladies like myself. I was ruthless. He vehemently denied it all.

He caught me at a time when I wanted to be loved. Just a little bit. He listened to me rant and still kept coming back. He was poetic, he said he loved me. And as a fool I started to fall for him.

We started chatting on the phone. That was a huge barrier crossed for me. Then it was video chats, and I couldn't believe I was doing that. I sent him pictures, albeit very normal ones thank god of myself in my pyjamas getting ready for bed. I wanted him to see me as I am and to hear his true reaction. He stayed and insisted he liked what he saw and enjoyed my company. I fell a little more each day, wanting to believe.

But every fairytale has an end, and those only half accepted die even sooner. I knew in my heart of hearts he was lying. No one who looked as beautiful as he did wanted to be with an old black woman a million miles away from him. Plus he did too much. Swearing he loved me exclusively, that he would live and die for me, that we should be married ..you get the drift. Plus we never really spoke about anything. He just repeated his love bombing every time we talked. It was fake.

I told him one day that our age difference made me too uncomfortable. He didn't like me to say that and he threatened to leave. I told him I didn't think we could really be a couple. He said if I rejected him this time he would go away and I wouldn't even be able to reach him on the app. I said fine. It was all a lie anyway and I was over it. The more I indulged in this fantasy the more I was hurting myself when the truth inevitably hit the fan. It needed to stop right there and then. Anyway, he said goodbye for the last time. And immediately blocked me. He disappeared from my contacts. Some deep love that was.

I had looked up Moroccan romance scammers while talking to him. I learned the signs and he displayed every one. The instant love-bombing, not caring about a large age gap, insisting on an intense romantic relationship almost immediately, the constant praise. The lack of any real communication between the two of you yet they are so completely in love. If it all feels overblown and overdone, that's because it is.

Most times they will emotionally manipulate you to the point that you are hooked on their attention, and that's when the requests for money or gifts will start. Or they will use you to get their visa, going as far as marrying you. Then they suddenly turn into their true selves and may even become abusive. It has all been done and documented before.

I was lucky because my natural skepticism was too strong to let me fall too far down the rabbit hole. Yet I did stumble, I did fall. If even for a short time. I wanted every so slightly to believe in him, and that was enough to almost cost me dearly. It is a whole jungle out there meeting people online. Be careful, guard your heart, body, soul and wallet and most of all be ruthless when you smell nonsense in the air.