The Lord of The Rings : The Rings of Power. Bland, Boring, UnFey 🙁
There's been talk about Amazon's The Lord of The Rings: The Rings of Power for months now; heated debate and sometimes outright anger over the "forced diversity" and 'toxic woke feminism" people felt it included. I heard the chatter, saw some trailers, but for the most part ignored the perhaps premature surmises on how bad it would be. Instead I chose to wait and watch for myself, then make up my own mind, relatively free from the biases swirling in the cyberworld around me. And so I did.
I have to say I honestly went into the first episode with high hopes for a transcendent experience even marginally akin to the one Peter Jackson gave us in his unimpeachable version all those many years ago. I could care less whether some hobbits were now brown, whether some elves had darker skin...so what? If in a fantasy world no less, you cannot imagine characters with slight variations in skin colour than what the book described then you're fucked. As long as the skin colour has nothing to do with the innate qualities of that character - then what is the problem? Nothing, except resistance to the white race no longer seeing themselves dominating every stoyline on screen. Good luck with that mindset in the future.
So diverse races were not an issue, especially since they were not shoe-horned in there with messages of advocacy, but were just allowed to quietly exist in the world. I therefore started the episode with no prejudices or expectations, and as little knowledge about how Amazon's team would approach the storyline as possible.
And then the first few minutes passed and I started to feel concerned. Several minutes more and I was a little more worried. By the time twenty minutes had passed I was appalled. What was I watching?
Ok, I quickly reassessed my cognitive dissonance. This elf woman was my Galadriel, but in her very youthful days, and she was essentially taking us through the events that led to the forging of the Rings of Power.
But why was she so...earthy? And why were the other elves so...unfae? Wait was that... Elrond! Of course he is thousands of years younger but, why does he seem so banal, even boring? Where is the magical aura that surrounds the elves? Where is that feeling of ethereal beauty about everything they do?
And then, I got annoyed. Because gradually it became clear that Galadriel was an action figure. Fighting snow trolls single-handedly, jumping from boats into the unknown depths of the sea, forging ahead into the evillest mountain cold - always upstaging the lesser men behind her. She alone knew the answer to every query her troop asked. Everyone else around her was stupid, cowardly, less skillful, blind to the future, and simply wrong. She alone was Galadriel - Badass Female Superhero!
The moment that was established was when I knew there was no hope for the series. That many of the criticisms others forewarned turned out to be to true, and what we have here is LOTR - the millenial all things woke edition. The obvious CGI, video game characters, make enough money to ensure a sequel (and a game) edition. The spirit of honouring, even worshipping, the beauty and poetry of the original works - entirely gone.
So as not to make this blog entry interminably long(er), I'll be brief in summarising my opinions of various aspects of the show thus far:
Galadriel - a perfect caricature of what a "strong female" is supposed to be, with most of the original qualities of the book Galadriel non-existent or merely hinted at. To be a strong female character in 2022 is to be physically and mentally superior to all males around you, and to make that known at every occasion possible. No male is ever correct, not even an elf. Bonus points for jumping recklessly into the dark ocean with no plan for survival.
The Harfoots- Or early Hobbits. Loved their primitive village and they were generally well acted. The new characters are fitting to the lore. They serve their purpose, and add levity to the story.
Nori - the little adventurous Hobbit. Basically she's Frodo's precursor, even Bilbo's precursor. Though that is not to imply they are related in any way. The actress does a good job bringing her need to push beyond the boundaries of their settlement to life. She's very expressive, though she doesn't seem memorable thus far. She's good but not outstanding...a bit expected.
The Elves - Blaaahhhhhhh. The most boring, man-like, and dare I say, un-beautiful set of elves I've ever seen. Some ill fitting, overly prominent pointy ears are all that distinguish these supposedly preternatural creatures? Their movements are banal, their words are boring, their speech is dull. And who decided on their ugly haircuts? Even the landscape where they live - why on earth does it seem so much less impressive than Peter Jackson's which was done so many, many technologies ago? The elves I cannot forgive.
The townspeople - nothing to see here. Another wanna-be-badass-woman who knows better than all the men in the place. She kills an Orc, she's seeing a male elf to whom she speaks in a patronising way - of course she does. She maybe killed an abusive husband I don't know.
The Stranger - most likely it's Gandalf fallen from the Earth and suffering space madness. Something to discover.
The acting overall - Is quite unmoving. It's cookie-cutter, copy paste. You could replace any of these actors with another and it would make no difference. Perhaps the strongest characters to me were Durin and his wife. I hope we see more from them.
The visuals - of course they are beautiful. However, there is something soulless about them that cannot come close to what Peter Jackson achieved, nor even to what you might imagine had you only read the books. The sweeping views of Hobbiton, the scenery traversed by the Fellowship, that first view of Rivendell....little in this series compares. Early on I started looking out for copy pasted background elements. Yeah, it was that flat.
The exception I will make again is the dwarves home. They attempted to show it in it's opulent glory as it would have been in those times. There was something arresting and inventive about the way they envisioned this underground realm of rock and stone. Again, I hope we see more.
Generally I found Amazon's The Lord of The Rings: The Rings of Power to be mostly disappointing, boring, but watchable. Will I watch a next episode? Yes. Am I hoping it improves? Yes. Except for Galadriel who I believe is irredeemable by this point. In fact, I'll just call her Gal Gadot henceforth, since she seems like a stock action figure that has nothing to do with the Lady of Lothlorien. Should you watch it? I would say yes, but temper your expectations. Way down.
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