Tik Toker who looks like Kylie Jenner and the Hairstylist who "Ruined" her Hair
Intro The Video My experience Taylor What can we learn? My Pinterest boards
So I just came across this saga on Youtube about a Tik Toker who bears an uncanny resemblence to Kylie Jenner (honestly I think she's prettier than Kylie). I was initially drawn in by her face because I couldn't believe how much of a doppleganger she was. However, her videos about having her hair "revamped" by a supposedly expert hairstylist, and the flatly disappointing results that ensued made for riveting entertainment, and quite rightly went viral. Especially since the whole situation, whilst being very "Tik Tok" and "Influencer 2024", is also so relatable to probably every woman ever in existence. I'll link the video that explained the whole situation below. You should give it a watch and get caught up.
The Video by YouTube channel Tea Spill
Tik Toker EXPOSES hair stylist who "ruined" her hair...(hair gate) - Tea Spill
My Experience
Ok, so hopefully by this stage you've watched the video and/or have familiarized yourself with the messy drama. Honestly, the whole scenario reminded me of an experience I had at a hairstylist some moons ago, that I regret even to this day. I'm pretty sure this is the case for many women - it is unfortunately such a common experience to have miscommunication, sometimes no communication, between the client and the person styling our hair. This is my experience, the memory triggered by Taylor Madison's "hair-gate" ordeal.
So I went to this salon with a picture of a popular hairstyle at the time, that I had carefully printed out on my little deskjet at home. My hair back then was in a wonderful growth spurt - not a common thing at all for me. It had grown thick and lush and happiest of all was relatively long...almost to mid back. I loved how healthy it was, but I felt it was a little too lank and shapeless, so I wanted to have it fall more stylishly, especially around my face. I was pretty excited to have perhaps some face-framing layers cut, and so I carefully selected my style from the internet, printed it off and searched for a hairdresser.
Now I didn't really have a regular person to cut my hair at the time. Most of the girls I went to just did my chemical process and a trim, but I didn't think they were sophisticated enough to be able to do an expensive looking stylish haircut. So I researched the best hairstylists, read reviews, and selected this popular upscale salon run by the owner and supposed hair expert ....let's call him Bryan.
When I entered Bryan's it was like walking into another world. The atmosphere was "bougie" to the max, and the salon was filled with clients - everyone was busy. Now the clientele was, let's say, a little different than the black salons I was accustomed to. There were mostly upper crust looking women of lighter-skinned variety and straight hair texture - which in my country usually signifies an expensive, somewhat exclusive place. Nevertheless there was one client I immediately spotted who looked closer to my racial type, albeit she was highly mixed as well, but her hair texture was not far from mine and looked like it was relaxed regularly the way mine was. There were also at least two or three female workers who were typical black girls like myself - thus naturally I started to feel at ease. Being the kind of person I am, I had called and spoken to the salon owner before to explain what I wanted to come in for, and find out if they even handled my type of hair - which they assured me they absolutely did.
So the first part of the procedure went wonderfully...ish. I was greeted professionally and immediately assigned to one of the black stylists working there. This made sense as she was going to do a relaxer on me, and all tea no shade, no one can understand how to relax a black woman's hair better than another black woman. So I felt safe. And rightly so as she did an excellent job. The relaxer used was of top quality, the application was perfect and the above-average results were immediately evident.
The only spoke in the wheel came when she had me sit up after washing my hair, and this effeminate little gay guy, who just seemed to be hanging around the salon like a mascot or something, started to gush over me. He was like "omg you're so cute like a little wet black bird", which made me feel very "othered" in a salon consisting of mostly non-black, white-skinned clients. Clearly I was an anomaly there, and his loud sing-song exaltations, as though he had never seen a wet black woman before, immediately caused me social anxiety ... and annoyance.
But that moment passed, as I was blow dried to perfection with my hair feeling even thicker and longer on my back. I was excited to get my hair stylishly shaped at the front and retain my healthy length.
And so the grand moment came where I was passed on to Bryan... head stylist and hair guru...owner of the establishment. As I had had experiences with many hairdressers, I knew that it was best practice to remind them just before cutting of exactly what you wanted. So, doing my due diligence, I whipped out my little printed picture again (I had shown it to him once already when I first came into the salon, and he had enthusiastically promised stellar results). Sitting in his chair I once more pointed out what I liked about the cut, and wanted on my own hair.
However, at that specific time, I noticed that he started moving very quickly. What ensued would be disastrous, and to this day I remember these fateful words he said to me in that moment:
" I know exactly what you want!"
That man then whipped out his scissors, and faster than I could blink, chopped off a whole broad weft of my hair to above my ear.
When I tell you I was in shock. I remember looking in the mirror at the hair that was just on my collarbone being held in his hand, seeing my now exposed ear, and not being able to compute. I distinctly recall seeing the face of the girl who had just done my relaxer reflected in the mirror, and noting the unabashed shock in her expression as well. She had just held my beautiful healthy relaxed hair in her hands, and as a black woman, she knew how tough it was to get to that level, so she couldn't even hide her surprise. But she quickly schooled her face - I could see the effort of her turning her eyes down, bowing her head and getting very busy doing something else - as she walked away.
As for myself I know I made some feeble protestations at that point along the lines of "oh I didn't expect it to go so short" and "remember I want to keep my length" . But he literally pooh-poohed me, claiming he knew exactly what "I wanted" and "would work for me". The next thing I knew Edward Scissorhands was flying through my hair, and I ended up with one of those 90's pixie-ish flip hairstyles - with all the levels. A very short 90's flip hairstyle. Reference image below:
Taylor Madison
Following the storyline and listening to her complaints, I think Taylor wasn't in love with the results from the start. But with all the weight of people's expectations on her, I can understand how she internally convinced herself to give the style a go and see if it would grow on her. I know the feeling and I had nothing like the pressure she did to please her fans. I think she wanted the whole collaboration to be seen as a success for both personal and professional reasons, so she convinced herself that she could like the style and work with it.
But then the backlash came, and in spite of her trying to maintain a positive face, the critiques were too close to home. I found the way they styled it at the end with those big barrel curls that foreshortened her already round face to be less than flattering. It looked lots better when she straightened it out at home. But to be truthful, it didn't look like a great professional overhaul was done to her hair - the colour was flat and the length was too short for her. They should have given the girl some extensions!
I believe her real feelings started to unravel during the whole back and forth about who did/said what, and once a little truth had seeped out, the floodgates opened and she couldn't hide her disappointment. Is she being a little disingenuous about exactly how much she approved them to do after they had rejected extensions ...eh, maybe. But I can see how when you're in the thick of it and suddenly realise the stylist has ignored your request and is already moving in another direction, you tend to grit your teeth and smile. It's one of the curses of being a woman and always wanting to keep things "nice".
I remember putting on a brave face too when I first revealed my hair to my loved ones. I was surprised at how little opposition to the length I received and instead got favourable comments, which helped me pretend to myself that I liked my hair too. Had I been like Taylor, with so many detractors, I probably would have given in to my core feeling that this wasn't what I wanted and been very negative about it as well. I can understand where the girl is coming from - and she as an influencer feels the pressure times one hundred.
What can we learn from these experiences?
I'll tell you I'm quite a bit older now, and a little less likely to be mum when people are messing with my hair. Only recently I went to a hairdresser with a simple request - give me a mild dark wine colour that she had done to another lady with very similar hair as mine. When I saw the clown tuft, fluorescent orange-red she coloured my hair, and tried to pass it off as "oh I gave you a little more intensity for the holidays" - I spoke up immediately.
I could see she wasn't happy, but she had to tone it down for me right then, and I ultimately left the salon with a properly normal looking colour, shade and intensity (though it washed out quickly, and became totally different to what I had initially wanted - she did a shit job fixing it just to get me out her chair).
We have to speak up. I learned once that to a hairdresser a trim means at least three inches off your hair. That's a lot for many women to lose. We have to watch them like hawks, and say immediately if you don't like what's going on or you feel uncomfortable. When it comes to cutting - I swear you need to hold an entire conference just to get them to understand exactly what you want, and then pray they can execute. Do your research. If you see something they did that you like bring it to their attention so they know that's exactly what you want - though as in the example I gave above, this is not always foolproof.
Essentially, aside from the rich and famous, most of us have to really shop around for someone whose energy matches our own. Who at least is on the same wavelength and can understand our language. Because hairdresser's/stylists/whatever have been miscommunicating with clients since the dawn of time I believe. Some of them wilfully just want to do their own thing in my opinion. But it's a delicate balance, one that has to involve each side honouring the other.
Taylor Madison, I'm pretty sure a local hair salon could give your hair some life even now. Or you may want to just let it grow out stronger and healthier. It just goes to show that with some of these big name grandiose hairstylists, it's better to ignore the hype. In fact, communication, empathy and understanding will always trump any amount of expertise, especially when it comes to hair.
Next up: Have tattoos gone too far? ... Coming soon!
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